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Jersey girl

Lazy Sunday morning with my golden girl. She is an old lady, a far cry from the puppy she was when we met 10 years ago.
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I am grateful I made it a priority months ago to enjoy my first cup of coffee, sitting outside on my doorstep distraction free. I shared many of those mornings with her and my other pets.
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Initially that decision was about me. I wanted an unrushed, peaceful, intentional morning. I’ve gotten so many memories with her. Wonderful moments with her. I’m so grateful that I’ve had a summer full (and maybe a fall too) to spend quiet moments with her.
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It’s a huge gift of choosing how I want to live and show up in my life. We suspected early this spring that this would be her last summer. I’ve done my best to make it a good one. In this past week, it’s feeling like the end is very near.
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I’m grateful that I decided to slow down, be present in my life and live the life I want to live, how I want to live it NOW.
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I don’t know how many times I came back to that truth in my journal. How many times I had to stick up for myself in honoring that. I am so grateful for that.
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Your life is right now. Are you truly living the way you want to live? Are there things you want that you are putting on hold? .
Stop doing that.
This is the performance.
There is no dream rehearsal.
This is real life and you only get one.
So stop waiting for anything to happen to do what you want to do and be who you want to be.
The time is now.
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If you want a little support or guidance in that process, check out my free ebook, Write Your Reality – link is in my bio. Join my free Facebook group – Empowered and Liberated – Mindset Coaching for your ideal life. I’m here to share my practises on intentional living and realizing your ideal life.
Much love,
oliver

Write Your Reality

Thank you for choosing to download my free ebook, Write Your Reality. The practice of journaling and self-coaching has brought me so far in my life. I would go as far as to say, it is responsible for any of my accomplishments.

Writing new liberating, empowering beliefs has been critical to my success in my life, my goals and achievements. For so long, I was trapped in the prison of my mind, cycling through the same poisonous, debilitating, depressive thoughts. Actively choosing to adopt new thoughts and beliefs has changed how I see the world, what I believe is possible for me and for others and ultimately led to me this point.

Get the ebook here:
write your reality

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If you are looking for more support, join my free facebook group: Empowered & Liberated – Mindset coaching for your ideal life. Here I run online challenges and extravaganzas, offer coaching and support to you, for free.

Much love,

oliver

Write Your Reality

I am launching my first ebook! It’s part ebook, part workbook, 100% awesome!

It’s called Write Your Reality and it’s a collection of 10 of my most empowering and liberating beliefs.

These are the beliefs I have chosen to adopt and live and thrive on.

They inspire me to take action. They keep me motivated. They connect me to my purpose, my goals and my why.

It’s not quite ready. I’m planning to launch on Saturday. The best part is it’s free. A gift from my heart to yours.

It took me years to gain the confidence and self-love to accept these beliefs. It is my pleasure to share them with you. It is my sincerest hope that you find a little bit of ease and peace in what I’ve written and that I can save you a little time and heartache. ❤

Choose how you show up

How do you want to show up today?

Powerful?
Kind?
Humble?
Strong?
Gracious?
Successful?
Kicking ass and taking names?

Set your phone timer for 5 minutes. When you’re ready start with ‘Today, I want to show up…’ and just write whatever the heck comes up and comes out. It’s okay if you go off on a tangeant. In fact, it’s excellent if you go off on a tangeant. We often make unusual associations to certain feelings and characteristics. Or we associate these with people in our lives or situations who make us feel the opposite.

Once your time is up, look back over what you’re written and pull out the nuggets. For example: ‘I want to be gracious, like my grandma Ruth when client X comes in. He usually sets me off and makes me feel defensive and inferior. I’m going to hold onto that feeling of graciousness as long as I can and come back to it as soon as I realize I’ve strayed. He can’t knock me off my game or make me feel anything I don’t want to feel.’

Spend a few minutes feeling the feeling of graciousness. Write out: Today, I choose to be gracious. I’m kind and accommodating to everyone I meet.
Write that down as many times as you want. Right now. Throughout the day. We are 42% more likely to achieve a goal that we write down rather than just think.

Expand that beyond your encounter with your difficult client. Extend it to everyone you meet.

Chances are you will be out of graciousness more often than you are in it. DO NOT beat yourself up over this. Quite the opposite. CELEBRATE every second you manage to feel and embody graciousness. You will begin to build a positive association with the practice, strengthen your neural pathway to graciousness and start to build it as a habit.

We can’t choose our thoughts but we can certainly choose how we react to them. If you end of feeling quite the opposite of what you want to feel, acknowledge those feelings. Don’t judge them. Feel them with the intention to shift into a feeling that you want. Keep practicing that. You’ll get better at it! Stay committed and soon you’ll be able to shift easily and effortlessly.

Self respect

HOW DO I LOVE ME? LET ME COUNT THE WAYS

How do I love ME? Let me count the ways.
I love ME to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love ME to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love ME freely, as men strive for right;
I love ME purely, as they turn from praise.
I love ME with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love ME with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love ME with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,

I shall but love ME better after death. . .

How much do you love yourself?
Really
Truly

Love yourself .

How could you possibly know? .

How do you speak to yourself?

Would you use the same language with

your child,  parent, partner, best friend? .

How much time do you take to meet your

needs and wants?

Do you put everyone else first because

you’re afraid you’d be a bad parent,
employee, partner, friend of you weren’t
needed. If you didn’t meet their needs? .

What do you believe about yourself?

Do you think you’re a good person?

Do you believe that you do your best and

that your best is enough?

Do you believe you are worthy of dignity,

respect, love and all the good things in

life? .

Do you compare yourself to those

around you?

I’m not as good looking as my friend.

I’m not as smart as my partner.

I’m not as well liked as my co worker is. .

Do you compensate for the things you
think you lack?

I’m not that good looking but I can be

funny.

I’m not in very good shape but I’m

always there for my friends.

I’m not that smart but I’m a hard worker. .

Do you put up with bad behaviour from

others?

Being stood up by a friend.

Being unsupported at work.

Being put down and criticized by family. .

You don’t deserve it. You deserve  to love

yourself. You deserve to accept yourself.

Exactly as you are. No changes or
additions or subtractions. Right now. .

You have no flaws. You are just a

different person from whomever you

are next to.

You deserve the things you want. You
deserve to have it better. You deserve
to love yourself. You deserve to be good
enough.
Now.
Right now.
Exactly as you are.
Stretch yourself a little more each day to
believe this.

Creativity is best served unbound

I allow creativity to flow through me. I place no expectations. I don’t force or coerce it into me and through me. I don’t have a formula for creativity.

I live a life that invites it. For me that means showing up to write every day to let it flow out of me. I fill my well by daydreaming, thinking, mulling, being present and living an every day life. Even when I’m not writing, I’m writing.

I let go of the idea of ‘being productive’ all the time and just exist. That spaciousness in my mind and life and time makes space for ideas, questions and curiosity to develop. .
This unstops the wellspring of creativity to flow through me.

A lifestyle that supports your goals

In order to get different results in your life you have to do things differently.

I used to think getting up at 5am (or 4.30am) was something I could only do for special occasions. Now I do it on the regular.

My number one reason is to fit in my personal priorities each day:
1. Yoga or exercise
2. Meditation
3. Journaling
4. A rush free morning

When you really want something, you will find a way to make it happen. .
Having enough time to get my personal priorities in before my work day means 9.00-9.30pm bedtime, 5.00am wake up and 4 alarms to keep me from falling back to sleep.

I spent months struggling to get up this early to make time for an early yoga practice or work out. I kept saying to myself ‘I really can’t handle not getting a good night’s sleep.’ ‘It’s so hard for me to get up early in the morning.’ When I was repeating those things to myself, it was all too easy and reasonable to just reset my 5am alarm to 6am.

Once I decided that getting my personal priorities done was non-negotiable and had to happen, I looked for ways to make it easier.
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The first place I went was to challenge the story I was telling myself about getting up early. Of course, I do everything I reasonably can to get to bed early so I can get up early. I also starting to replace that thought with ‘I can handle less than my ideal sleep time. I can handle transitioning into an earlier wake up. I can find a way to wake up earlier.’

Guess what. I have!

I also allow myself to take a nap after work if I need it. Or if I need a sleep in day, I decide the night before. I know and trust the signals from my body to make the best decision for me.

Change can be easy if you let it. I really recommend looking at the thoughts and stories you have around why it’s hard and look for ways you can see it differently. You might truly surprise yourself.

PS I’m teaching a 6.45am yoga class at the Fundy Y. If getting active is one of your goals, consider joining me tomorrow. The fall is a great time to start a new routine and you can jumpstart that process in August!